What M.I.A. Teaches Me About Myself (even if she does offend Americans)

If you know me, you know that I have a healthy obsession with the rapper/artist, M.I.A. If you haven’t heard of her by now, you really live under a rock. Her most well-known stunts are her hit, Paper Planes, making the sound track to Slumdog Millionaire, and flipping the bird at the Super Bowl. If you pay a bit more attention to the news, then you might remember the controversy of her video “Born Free” which depicts the story of a fictional red-head-freckle-faced-people genocide.

A lot of people may not understand what there is to like about M.I.A. “She’s weird” “She’s rude” “Her voice is horrible” etc. But what you cannot discredit her about is the fact that her WHOLE CAREER stands for something.

M.I.A. is a Sri Lankan refugee who lives in England (which is more lenient about offensive material… flipping the bird in the UK wouldn’t get this kind of response). She began making music to give a voice to those who don’t have a voice. Specifically, her Tamil people who continuously experience genocide in Sri Lanka. Her latest single, Bad Girls, hints at the inequality happening in Saudi Arabia concerning women and their ability to drive cars. No matter how much you hate her voice or think she’s strange, you cannot deny that her guts to take a stand is admirable (even risking immigration penalties like being banned from entering the US for a bit). Which is why she’s so adored by some of your favourite rappers and musicians (“Pull up in that Tonka, color of Willy Wonka with a bad chick who came from Sri Lanka…” and let’s not forget Jay-Z’s “no one on the corner has swagga like us” sample. Oh, and of course, Madonna).

What does this have to do with my search for self-discovery? Well, something else about M.I.A. that cannot be denied is her incredible swag. I cannot define it. I cannot explain it. You just have to SEE it. Swag over-load. I watched interviews with her to maybe get a glimpse to see where all that swag comes from. Its evident that she’s just… being herself.

And I think the confidence she has to just be herself might be fueled by the fact that she’s backed up by a cause that matters. It’s easier to be yourself when you have a purpose for your life and for your goals. It’s easier to be unapologetic about who you are when you stand for something.

How do you know what you stand for, though? Stay tuned for more self-exploration insights. With that, love muffins, I leave you with this bad ass music video:

New Year’s in Africa!

Hey lovely ladies!

I’m out in Nigeria celebrating the holidays with my family. It is going to be incredibly hard for me to update this blog while I’m out here. Let me just say, it is  miracle this page even loaded right now.

I’ve been studying the GRE, reading Sailor Moon manga, day-dreaming and watching the E! channel. I’ve got a lot of new insights to share with you in 2012!

But while I’m here, let’s celebrate and dream about the past year and the coming one!

2011: Celebrating the good times!

• I graduated from university with two degrees! This is awesome because now, I really feel like “Ok, my life will be EXACTLY what I make it and more if I keep the faith! No one can tell me who’s standards to meet. No one can tell me deadlines to do anything anymore. It’s up to me and my faith.” Not to mention to get a degree in philosophy has been a childhood dream of mine.
• I committed to starting this blog!
• For the first time ever, I had a reason to read those “relationship” blogs
• I got my community garden for youth off the ground.
• I’ve committed to becoming a nutritionist and getting my Master’s. Everyday, I get another sign that this is the path for me. I get so excited every time I hear someone’s story and think “OMG, I could HELP YOU like no one ever has before. I just need to be certified and deepen my knowledge/experience.”

2012: Goals and Desires arriving!

• Launch officially girlaftercollege.com
• Perform  a dance piece every other month (even if it’s just on youtube)
• Get paid to be a fitness instructor
• Get paid to be an SAT and GRE tutor (btw, as I study for this stuff — more and more I am so happy I was a Math and Philosophy major! Hah!)
• Apply and get into UTSW (nutrition school — it’s a medical school with a nutrition department)
• Move out of my parents’ house! And get a dog

*sigh* There are probably so many other things that I’m leaving out, but as they come to me, I’ll keep note in my personal writings. But how are you chicitas?? How are you going to celebrate your 2011 and dream for your 2012?

Success is not via Copy

I was reading the September (2011) issue of Glamour and felt very inspired. It was a fantastic issue filled with beautiful, successful women. It had great advice for women in regards to the double standards we face (its easier for men to get paid more than it is for women), too. There was a segment where certain women talked about their yearly salary. One of them was a nutritionist. I quickly googled her on my phone (because I want to be a nutritionist, too). I wanted to see what her business was like so I could get some ideas. Her bio indicates she got a Master’s degree. I thought “Okay, good. I’m getting one, too. I’m on the right track.”  But after going through her site, I was turned off. There was nothing else there that inspired me at all (except for the fact that she’s an entreprenuer). I thought “I don’t actually want to  be like her.”

I have a bad habit of seeing someone who is doing something I want to be doing and then trying to copy them. I think “If I want their success, I need to do what they do.” Which is true to a certain extent. Heavy emphasis on “certain extent”. There are some principles that you should try to learn, understand, and integrate into your life. But you don’t have to follow the same plan as anyone else but yours.

This is a concept I am trying to hammer into my brain. It calls for trusting myself. I calls for outing my fear of “not being capable”. Releasing that particular fear (that I just recently finally discovered I had) has been an ornery task. I try to think to myself about all the women that I admire — that I see as success or that I perceive as being happy. They’re driven, creative, loving, hard-working and they express themselves. Those are pretty much the only patterns I could see. I realize that there is NO ONE PATH to success. But because of my fear of not being capable, I constantly am seeking one. Even though I know from Tim Ferris (4-Hour Work Week), Ramit Sethi (I Will Teach You To be Rich) and even Marie Forleo that trusting in yourself, hard work, and testing (like — actually tracking your results and moving on from there) things out will get you far. Copying someone else usually leads to failure or unsustainable success.

What do you do to release fear and develop more trust in yourself (& your higher power)?

P.S. Oscar Wilde is one of my childhood inspirations. His work opened my eyes to how not-boring English class could be.

Stuff You Should Know: Carry These in Your Hand Luggage

Well, we call it “hand luggage”. You could say carry on luggage. What other synonyms are there? Anyway, who’s excited! You might be traveling to “refresh” yourself after graduation or you’re traveling home to the folks. I always felt scattered at the airport. I didn’t know what to put in my hand luggage and purse. Hopefully, this helps!

In Your Purse

- Keep your important documents: passport, ID, cards, and cash

- Keep your medications in here, as well

- You can only carry 3 small liquids (placed in a ziplock bag) into the terminal. I think hand sanitizer, moisturizer, and toothpaste is a good pick. I think all of these can give temporary relief to any minor skin irritation or beauty disaster.

- Chapstick! (I absolutely love EOS thanks to a friend’s recommendation. A review later)

- a handy book, cellphone, and camera (and any other fancy tiny gadget you love)

In Your Hand Luggage

- A spare outfit (including underwear and shoes)

- a blanket (I prefer my snuggie, lol)

- face clothes or towels

- blow dryers, flat irons, & other electronics

- Laptop and heavier books

- Other heavy items — they don’t weigh carry on bags, so this could help you save some cash if you thought you needed an extra bag.

Have a fun and safe vacation! I can’t wait to share beautiful insights and photos from the motherland. A retreat — a physical escape from the life you’ve grown accustomed to — can put you in a new mind frame. It can open your mind to ideas, possibilities and understandings you didn’t have before. So enjoy each moment of your travels and share what you’ve realized.

Let me know if I left anything out, too. What are your favourite must-have for airplane traveling?

Secret Splurge: the Salted Caramel Mocha

I don’t usually endorse Starbucks coffee because drinking their flavoured coffee daily is just absolutely a bad idea for your body! But every now and then, you deserve the splurge!

I recommend the salted caramel mocha. This item is not found on the menu, but it is probably the most delicious drink I’ve ever had at Starbucks. With a sweet dessert, it makes for a small treat before you get your Christmas gifts. Activate a (free) Starbucks membership card to replace milk with soy milk for free (otherwise its 60 cents extra).

Why “Girl After College” & How You Can Help

Good morning, sunshines.
Graduation begs some big questions for the young adult woman. Just like that girl in the photo, I am always sitting & contemplating. As a blogger, I come back to the computer with some insights, conclusions or further questions from my contemplation. But now, all that thinking will amount to something. Now, I am expected to actually live life (not just go to school and think). Since I’m finally starting this blog, I did more research on my girly-20-something-blog peers. I remembered why I really believe in this blog. This is not just documenting my journey to a fabulous & fulfilling adulthood. I hope to guide you through yours. I hope to allow this blog to be an outlet for you, too!

I noticed that there are some awesome 20-something blogs already, but there’s something missing. That I hope I can create here.

Part of what’s missing are some real life actionables. What do you do in a situation where you’re have trouble and YOU have to be FULLY responsible for the first time (instead of deferring it to your parents as you always had to)? Financials? Travel? Finding your first apartment? How do you ACTUALLY land a job (please, no “top 5″ lists…)? And no one is even HINTING at graduate school! How do you actually make your DREAMS come true? As much as I love blogging about health, beauty, and DIY, there are other important things we’re thinking about that are being ignored! Sites that do have information are missing that ‘personal’ touch. It’s just a list of “Top 5 Things to Do At a Career Fair” bullshit (btw, should I allow cursing on this blog?). There’s nothing from personal experience, results, or subscriber feedback.

Ah, subscriber feedback is another big thing. I want a community. My all time favourite blogs do 3 things:
1. Provide REAL, TESTED advice
2. The blogger talks about their personal life experience
3. The blog creates a COMMUNITY — the blogger interacts with subscribers and even features them in posts.
4 (a bonus). Are aesthetically pleasing

And you guys, I am obsessing over this blog. I’m spending way too much time creating content. Figuring out how to move it to the domain name. How do I use photoshop to make a banner? Yada yada. This would be GREAT if I didn’t have other things to do. I need to actually live life in order to blog about it, don’t I? And a blog like this needs time to grow. My focus is creating a community here first. But I need your help.

- Write with me? Are you interested in joining me in tending to this blog? Let me know! Email me at quitejaded@gmail.com (yes, that email will change soon)
- Comment with feedback. Let me know what you think of each blog post. Be as brutal as you feel need to be.
- What are you struggling with? Let me know what you’re struggling with. What do you actually want to know? Who do you actually want to connect with.

Until next time, girlies.

Stuff You Should Know: Car Accidents!

Someone hit your car!! Luckily, no one got hurt, but what do you do now? How to handle yourself in a situation like this is crucial. It will save you time and money down the line.

TAKE A PICTURE
You need to immediately start taking pictures with your camera phone (or a cheap camera you keep in your car at all times). Take a photo, if you can, of your cars together in the aftermath. Take a photo of their license plate. Take a photo of the damage to your vehicle. You never know when you’ll need these or if you’ll have to go to court.

SEE THEIR INFORMATION
Ask them to bring out their license ID and insurance information. Write it down yourself. If you can, get a witness’s information, as well. Here’s a PDF you can print out and keep in your car to ensure you get all the important information: ()

But what if you’re unsure if you’re the one to blame?
First and foremost, do NOT assume ANY responsibility. Do not say it’s your fault. Do not say it’s their fault. Do not talk about blame or responsibility for the accident whatsoever (whether you think you know or not). The things you say in this moment can be used against you.

Question for you!
Have you ever been in a fender bender? What actions do you wish you had or had not taken?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Buckle Your Safety-belts

Life is moving at rapid speed right now and I barely have time to assimilate it. So many good posts have come to mind and I had no real place, space, or time to write it out!

Welcome to my new blog. Girl after college. It’s not official yet. I’ve yet to figure out how to transfer this to my -girlaftercollege.com- space. But in due time, it will be shiny, new and adorable.

This blog is based on the idea that I have a goal I want to accomplish here as a recent graduate. I want to begin living a life of my design. Create a youth that is rich (yet affordable), rewarding, and fabulously girly! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve made some incredibly realizations about the nature of life and myself. I’m also constantly being fed advice and wisdom everywhere I turn (some of which I bring on myself). I’ve searched and searched for a useful blog written by REAL girls with REAL things to say that they are ACTUALLY doing, but to no avail. So why not make my own?

I also hope to monetize this blog. It’s not my priority, so rest assured — no scammy posts, affiliate programs, or e-mails from me! But I know as I have fun growing this blog (and youtube channel), the prospect might become a reality. I’m hoping for it (and I “release this desire”), but in the mean time, let’s take a walk through the 20-something dream of life after college. Here at this humble place. You’re here at the beginning, lucky you!

Right now, this walk has been going from slow jog to 100-dash sprint!

BURLESQUE movie review

What’s good, people? First of all, welcome to my new blog which is typically about being “fresh, green & fabulous”. But, time to blog about something completely different.

I had the pleasure of watching this movie on my birthday, Nov. 17th! I was quite excited. I was with a good friend and surrounded by fabulously talented Cher dopple-gangers.

Let me be honest and real, because it seems other reviews are not. This movie is not really a good movie. What saved this movie were the headliners (Xtina & Cher) and the musical numbers. Remove any or both of those factors, and this movie is a DUD. “Uh, the movie is called Burlesque! You can’t remove the musical numbers.” That may be true. The point I’m trying to get across is that this story’s plot is old, tired, beaten and boring. I’ll give it some props — nothing quite too terrible happened to the main character (as what usually happens in stories like this) nor did she make any “bad” decisions. Kind of too perfect, but I admire her drive.

Cher’s role came naturally. Stanley Tucci played his typical role (which I love, love, love. I don’t care this guy always plays the same character. I love the character!) so he was a natural. Kristen Bell was annoying, as usual.

Christina’s acting performance was good. Just good. Nothing else. Nothing memorable. Nothing that would make me think of her as an “Singer/Actress”. She’s still just an amazing singer and on-stage performer to me. Christina looked GORGEOUS in this film. She still looks as crisp, fresh, and young as “Genie in a Bottle”. It was hard for me to find any moment of the movie boring when I was staring at eye-candy the whole time. The whole 2-hours… long movie.

Not much else to say about this movie. Unlike my The Social Network review, this movie just does not have much depth or intrigue. *kanye shrug* Ok, yah, I can talk about the musical pieces, but do I really need to? They were fantastic! I don’t need to say much else.  Characters were quirky/funny, but had no depth and no development. At all. Sorry!

BOTTOM LINE:
If you’re looking for a great show, watch this movie at a discount if you can or wait for DVD. I don’t think seeing it on the big screen added much for the movie (unlike Avatar that NEEDS to be seen on the big screen, ya dig?). If you’re looking for a movie to watch, you might want to pass on this unless you’re bored. If you’re a lover of Cher or Xtina, this is a must-see.

P.S.
On a personal note, the movie was particularly inspiring for me. If I had a different family, I could imagine myself in the exact place the main character was in. I am mesmerized by beautiful dancers on the stage and I “want to be up there”. The main character’s incredible hunger & lust for performance was just very juicy for me and I thoroughly appreciated it.